My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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