On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
there is glitter all over my balls
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