Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
