Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
