Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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