operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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