Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
