You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
