walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
