Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize