I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
