I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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