Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
