you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
