I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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