Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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