holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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