Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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