I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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