i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
