Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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