I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
