If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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