It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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