You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
