Little spoons don't ask big questions
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
