I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
