I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
