but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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