Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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