If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
