I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
