but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
