I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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