About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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