it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
