guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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