he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
