I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
