Only a mothe r could love this liver
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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