Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
its liver damage thursday
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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