Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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