Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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