theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
