I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
