I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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