Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
