Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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