Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.

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  (516): you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed (603): well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways. http://tfl.nu/oeiu
  Replies (7) Good night (2281) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.

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  (914): she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob. http://tfl.nu/q7jj
  Replies (25) Good night (784) Bad night (4462)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.

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  (954): My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet. http://tfl.nu/5qcs
  Replies (48) Good night (1178) Bad night (2948)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk

  (1-914): View more from New York

  It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

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  (914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk (1-914): It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you http://tfl.nu/bgwq
  Replies (55) Good night (8820) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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  (902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9
  Replies (28) Good night (7349) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5612) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner

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  (614): I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner http://tfl.nu/04vf
  Replies (15) Good night (3792) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.

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  (443): I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites. http://tfl.nu/mbgc
  Replies (13) Good night (2658) Bad night (1619)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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  (910): I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him. (910): Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer. http://tfl.nu/vb0s
  Replies (4) Good night (2260) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Solid. Can't put a price on good times

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You can and it's called a liver.

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  (386): Solid. Can't put a price on good times (978): You can and it's called a liver. http://tfl.nu/hzws
  Replies (3) Good night (1913) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls

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  (860): You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls http://tfl.nu/pmrc
  Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again

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  (704): I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again http://tfl.nu/6zh5
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final

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  (423): My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final http://tfl.nu/c4wx
  Replies (6) Good night (1990) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.

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  (585): You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe. http://tfl.nu/6475
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in

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  (678): So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in http://tfl.nu/805f
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (241)

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