Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just do him I won't tell jon

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore

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  (269): just do him I won't tell jon (1-269): um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore http://tfl.nu/l9xs
  Replies (7) Good night (882) Bad night (2540)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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  (603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124
  Replies (22) Good night (4661) Bad night (881)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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  (908): Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold http://tfl.nu/axfw
  Replies (24) Good night (6365) Bad night (764)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6160) Bad night (1192)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.

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  (602): The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser. http://tfl.nu/x3yh
  Replies (8) Good night (3924) Bad night (1069)
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  (661): View more from California

  new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.

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  (661): new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what. http://tfl.nu/4g32
  Replies (27) Good night (5591) Bad night (1436)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?

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  (609): why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures? http://tfl.nu/ty0v
  Replies (6) Good night (2101) Bad night (1058)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

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  (407): I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex. http://tfl.nu/84ml
  Replies (34) Good night (5342) Bad night (1053)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi

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  (712): Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi http://tfl.nu/26u7
  Replies (3) Good night (2067) Bad night (1014)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.

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  (817): I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/povt
  Replies (8) Good night (2462) Bad night (544)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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  (914): The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off http://tfl.nu/j2wh
  Replies (6) Good night (908) Bad night (586)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

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  (507): THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED http://tfl.nu/xpsw
  Replies (10) Good night (589) Bad night (1344)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.

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  (215): I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics. http://tfl.nu/u5tf
  Replies (4) Good night (1259) Bad night (536)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

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  (757): If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably. http://tfl.nu/joah
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (296)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.

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  (305): I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/tt2w
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (263)

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