don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
