I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.