Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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  (480): I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same http://tfl.nu/efli
  Replies (6) Good night (618) Bad night (3130)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.

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  (+44): Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'. http://tfl.nu/zxab
  Replies (54) Good night (1911) Bad night (9974)
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  (925): View more from California

  Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.

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  (925): Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab. http://tfl.nu/xv4n
  Replies (19) Good night (5176) Bad night (1266)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.

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  (303): he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie. http://tfl.nu/hge8
  Replies (31) Good night (2089) Bad night (7196)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.

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  (617): Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar. http://tfl.nu/mo7u
  Replies (8) Good night (3715) Bad night (666)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

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  (630): Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box. http://tfl.nu/2fsf
  Replies (23) Good night (6977) Bad night (1068)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted

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  (203): he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted http://tfl.nu/yf6w
  Replies (18) Good night (4523) Bad night (917)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

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  (513): So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/ufdq
  Replies (19) Good night (2438) Bad night (1091)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.

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  (519): My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/s24c
  Replies (20) Good night (3769) Bad night (748)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?

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  (803): It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you? http://tfl.nu/tv5z
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (638)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.

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  (404): Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become. http://tfl.nu/pcoq
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (367)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.

  (818): View more from California

  I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"

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  (818): I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it. (818): I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!" http://tfl.nu/kovh
  Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (307)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.

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  (970): I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/6me0
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (203)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.

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  (864): Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science. http://tfl.nu/tl5t
  Replies (0) Good night (207) Bad night (332)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

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  (847): Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager. http://tfl.nu/eykt
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (276)

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