He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.