Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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(409): so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes http://tfl.nu/m5en

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(303): View more from Colorado

Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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(303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2

Replies (12) Good night (804) Bad night (4638)
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(813): View more from Florida

I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

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(813): I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business??? http://tfl.nu/t2g2

Replies (22) Good night (5101) Bad night (628)
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(352): View more from Florida

Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?

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(352): Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose? http://tfl.nu/yztp

Replies (23) Good night (4665) Bad night (694)
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(330): View more from Ohio

just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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(330): just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months. http://tfl.nu/uiec

Replies (28) Good night (897) Bad night (5223)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance

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(919): Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance http://tfl.nu/6t4u

Replies (2) Good night (2120) Bad night (682)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.

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(+44): This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats. http://tfl.nu/c5o0

Replies (14) Good night (981) Bad night (2220)
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(563): View more from Iowa

i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.

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(563): i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look. http://tfl.nu/aj1z

Replies (9) Good night (674) Bad night (921)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????

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(708): I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY???? http://tfl.nu/05jz

Replies (7) Good night (1354) Bad night (326)
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(574): View more from Indiana

can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

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(574): can anyone on this campus do anything sober? http://tfl.nu/gpdm

Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (653)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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(660): I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won.. http://tfl.nu/18ev

Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (286)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds

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(609): I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds http://tfl.nu/e8hx

Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (224)
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(516): View more from New York

Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash

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(516): Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash http://tfl.nu/gbbj

Replies (7) Good night (691) Bad night (259)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...

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(330): Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night... http://tfl.nu/aq2u

Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (234)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.

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(308): You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture. http://tfl.nu/dxd6

Replies (1) Good night (259) Bad night (159)

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