i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize