is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize