..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
