the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
