Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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