I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
