i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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