I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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