What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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