I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
