Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
