is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
