DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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