Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
