then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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