ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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